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Enough Now

December 3, 2014 Leave a comment

Anyone else have a wife who’s favorite Christmas movie is Love Actually?  Okay, it really is a pretty good movie… for a sappy Christmas movie…  I think I’ve seen it a dozen times or so.  There’s one quote that always sticks with me (and, conveniently it’s in the YouTube clip above).  Andrew Lincoln’s character is silently obsessed with Keira Knightley’s character throughout the movie.  She’s his vice.  In the clip above, he gets his kiss, and then says “Enough.  Enough now”.

I can hear his voice over and over in my head.  Enough.  Enough now.

No, I’m not secretly courting Keira Knightley (though props to him for his taste).  I’m shaking off my vice.  I’ve had my forbidden kiss, and it was good.  And now it’s time to get on with it.

Enough now.

My vice has been falling off the fitness wagon.  And what a good fall it’s been.  I’ve spent the past few months doing nothing related to training, or fitness, or healthy eating whatsoever.  I’ve tried to get back on the wagon several times.  I went through my 5 stages with grief, and sure enough ended with Acceptance.  I struggled for a while, feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing two-a-days, 5 days a week.  That I was writing training plans with 90 minute bike rides that my body just didn’t want to do.  I kept thinking to myself: I shouldn’t need to recover – it’s not like I worked particularly hard this season…

But compared to what (or whom)?  Compared to a pro, who does this for a living?  Compared to other fitness bloggers?  Or other friends of mine?  I’m surrounded by people who run daily.  Should I compare myself to them?

How about compared to myself?  Last year I did race 2 Olympic races for the first time ever.  I started training in January for a July race.  I pushed hard, did two-a-days several days per week (and beat my self up when I missed some of those workouts, which I often did).  Maybe I needed a break?  I think more than my body, my mind needed a break!

I needed to let myself take a few months off from the training routine.  I needed to take some time from the early morning alarms, the ever constant twitter feeds and media training advice (and yes, the blogs).  I needed to step away from the gym and organized races alike – to exercise when I felt like it, not when the schedule said so.  And I fought that for a while, feeling guilty for rolling over when my morning alarm went off.  It took a while to come to embrace the break – my vice – and stop trying to keep a routine.  I’ve been setting my alarm a bit later, enjoying a bit more pizza and beer, and letting myself relax a bit more.  It’s been really amazing!

Enough.  Enough now.

TTF

Today I signed up for the 2015 Toronto Triathlon Festival.  Entry fee has been paid.  I did the Olympic distance race last year, and really enjoyed it (despite the terrible weather, which they can’t control).  I’m looking forward to tackling the Olympic course again in 2015.

But right now I’m really just excited to have signed up for something.  To have committed to something.  To have a goal to work towards.  And maybe I won’t plan two-a-day sessions or 5 training days per week right out of the gate.  But I’ll accept the break as having been needed and beneficial, and as now being over.  It’s time to get back to work.

Enough now!

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